New class announcements

After nearly 2 decades in the industry, we like to think we're at the cutting edge of the latest workout trends and exercise science. 

We're constantly innovating and updating to ensure we're offering you the best possible service.    Our general class programming has evolved a lot over the years, but now we're excited to bring you some brand new offerings on our schedule!!  This will allow us to cater to more people, with more varying goals.  As we all know, not everyone just wants to be fit and healthy.....

1. Lights out.  We all know how much it sucks when a coach tries to help you get better. It's like they don't respect your carefully cultivated, confident exterior shell at all!  What's worse is that, they have highlighted the devastating fact, that you failed to improve on something you tried really hard at, right in front of the entire class. 

Our 630pm class will now be conducted with the lights off, and we hope to attract new members who are interested in avoiding constructive criticism, group motivation, selfless support and any semblance of discomfort in order to improve.   We'll also be diverting the savings in electricity to the purchase of more bikes for our next new class, which is....

2. Peyoton!!  With the massive and renewed interest in psychedelics, we're looking to be at the forefront of their incorporation into fitness.  Introducing Peyoton - chew on some crazy cactus, then jump on an airbike for one heck of a cycle 'trip'…..

3. Yog-hurt  It's actually just a really, really easy stretch class, like, you literally wont do anything (no one likes sweating into a $300 Lululemon outfit anyway)..... and it’s followed by a massive, high calorie, sugar bomb of a smoothie, because……… 'post workout window bro'

4. Wodify Pressure - this company has already brought us heart rate based training, but now you can multipurpose your chest strap, by fastening it around your neck!  For every day you don't attend the gym, the collar tightens by 10%.  We all know that adherence is key to success, so let's go all in on your commitment, by putting your life on the line!

Because let’s be honest, when it comes to fitness, you actually are………

Darren Ellis